By Wendy Molyneux BA, LCH
Here Wendy, The Heartfulness Coach, ( http://heartfulnesscoaching.co.uk/) shares her view that to help our super-anxious Tweens or Teens (“TT’s”) we need to support and empower their Mums.
She is an experienced Homeopath, who also teaches Meditation, Mindfulness, and the Law of Attraction which all come together as Heartfulness, or heart-led next-generation Mindfulness.
I feel relieved, excited, and ready to help coming out of lockdown. Thank goodness it is (nearly) over. Lockup was never a viable strategy when you look at the bigger picture and the collateral damage in terms of the devastated economy, death from causes like cancer and heart disease, compromised immunity through spending months indoors, and the huge impact on Mental Health which will reverberate for years to come.
Teen Mental Health is close to my heart as my daughter struggles with anxiety and OCD and being cooped up together in lockdown has led to a lot of emotional tension and exhaustion. Her mental health problems floored me, it has been fractious and tearful, and I have often felt like a big failure as a parent, let alone as a therapist. However, lockdown also shone a necessary light in some dark places and led me on a self-development journey, which is now driving my Heartfulness mission. I would walk on hot coals to support her but realised that I needed to stop trying to control and fix her and start with what I could change. ME.
I have used the learnings from my own life and coaching to develop the “Heartful Mum” programme to help Mums of TT’s cope with feelings of failure as a parent. They are struggling, two-thirds of mums believe stress affects their ability to be a good parent with one in eight mums struggling with stress every day. I can’t wait to start helping stressed-out Mums who will have to pick up the emotional tab of the TT Mental Health Crisis – there is some support out there for TT’s but precious little for us Mums. By honestly sharing my hard-learned lessons (and some of them are not pretty!) I save Mums a lot of heartaches and help them to really connect with their TT.
Heartful Mums learn how to tap into and look after their own energy, as well as create more of it, which goes a long way to ensure that you are in the right mindset to be a calm and confident Mum. Supercharging your energy means powering up, not powering through, and energy is the most valuable parenting resource of all. You are your own power station and need to keep topping it up. For me, a non-negotiable way of recharging is Heartful Breathing – a potent combination of Mindfulness, Meditation and Manifestation which gives the body rest far deeper than sleep. This helps get you out of your busy analytical headspace and into your calm heart space – the energetic centre of meaningful connection. The link to Heartful Breathing is here – https://www.facebook.com/theheartfulnesscoach
Other ways to raise your energetic vibration are having an Attitude of Gratitude or doing a Negativity Detox, as well as setting your “Soul Goal”, being mindful and learning to talk kindly to yourself. The absolute best way to live a life that lights you right up is to have Fun! Fun! Fun! When you make fun the goal a by-product will be having the energy to be a Heartful Mum to your TT.
To be a Heartful Mum you need to be assertive, not aggressive when communicating with your TT. Doing the work and digging deep will enable this – get clear on what triggers your Inner Critic, establish Healthy Boundaries, and release Fear and Limiting Beliefs.
When we connect with our heart and are Heartful in all areas of life we:
• Accept that we are doing our best and that is OK.
• Can take positive baby steps in our TT’s shoes.
• Have more love than our TT has got eye rolls!
• No longer compare ourselves to other parents, or worry about them judging us or our TT
• Become a conscious, joyous, whole and complete parent again.
• Stop trying to control everything and trust instead that the universe has our back.
• Achieve a balance between getting stuff done and nurturing “me time”. Fill up our own cup to be there with love for our TT.
• Have the nourishing energy and power we need to live our best, healthiest life
• Feel calm and clear headed, light and bright.
• Find self-confidence and momentum, inspiring us to make big changes.
• Have clarity and focus on what lights us up, and a strong desire to achieve it.
This is real heart-led parenting support, not a head-led parenting theory. To be a Model Role Model the greatest gift we can give our TT is our own happiness and light.